Malawian kids also say the darndest things

A student came into the library and left, saying he forgot something. He returned and left again. He came a third time. “Where is your head?” I teased, but as an English language learner, he pointed at his head and said quite sincerely, “It is right here.”

I asked students to write about a difficult choice they made, and one girl surprisingly explained how she smoked pot because “Grandpa said it makes you intelligent.” She writes: “When I smoked this chamba (Indian hemp) I understood finally that the earth is round and then I began jumping over and over for a very long time.” Grandpa lied.

Malawians also wear really great shirts in addition to saying great things. A tall, lanky senior boy showed up at my house one day wearing a faded purple shirt with large neon letters sprawled across the front: “And people say I’m scary without my makeup.”

We are studying Romeo and Juliet with my seniors, and their essays have turned up some zingers:

Nsima, the national food, is a beloved staple of Malawians. Meat is a rare delicacy: “Romeo loves Juliet more than a plate of nisma with meat.”

This needs no explanation: “We are able to see with our naked ears that Juliet is young.”

Finally, “The time of the party came, and Juliet just drank poison.”